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She sat for 10 minutes or so watching him over the top of her book wondering how to strike up a conversation but she was too shy and didn't want to make a fool of herself so she sat there and just watched him careful not to let him catch watching him.Presently he stopped work and sat down for his morning break he looked at her and said "hello again catching some rays" glancing up at the sun "er yes" she said "arnt you a bit overdressed for sunbathing" he commented with a nice smile "er yes I. Why did it have to be so complicated? Couldn’t there be a guy who would be at least somewhat attractive, intelligent and nice enough that she wouldn’t feel horrified at the thought of having kids with his genetic input? Where the heck were all the nice guys, anyway? The other problem, of course, is that Sylvia knew perfectly well she wasn’t the easiest person to live with. Ever since she was a kid, her parents had shouted at her ‘You’re difficult, that’s what! How is anyone going to put up with. Unbelievable it might sound, but I then used to rub on my vagina, playing with my clit till I was fully aroused and satisfy myself before going to sleep. The best part of my masturbation was when I used to wet my white inners to make my nipples visible and think that any man will hungrily grab my boobs if I can expose them in such a nude way.I come from an almost orthodox and strict family who have a thousand rules for the girls. What with my boobs sowing up so early and growing happily, I was. Most of the time, anyway. The ones I do... I wish I didn’t remember any of them.My dreams are fear.That’s it.Pure, raw fear.It’s my subconscious. It knows which emotions are mine, but what does it do with all the other ones?I don’t know.I don’t want to know.All I do know is that every night I wake up sweating; I wake up crying; I wake up screaming.I can’t control it.I can’t stop it.I wished I could.Now ... I think I can. I know I can. I’m here with you, aren’t I?I like being with you.How does.
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