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A jerk-off was a must. At least one jerk-off, that is. I wondered if he jerks off. I bet he does. In the shower. In his car. In the locker room. Everywhere. With his big hands, touching himself all over and spitting on his humongous boner. Fuck.That night, I decided to come with my parents to his house for a regular visit. Sean and his wife said their son wasn't home but that they still wanted me to come. I basically just wanted more Sean. His house was pretty spacey. There was a pool and a big. She knew the company was worth millions and he was the head of it, so it just didn’t make sense. Taking a chance, she’d decided to call the head of the finance department back at the office, that sour old bitch should have an explanation. ‘Miss Francis, this is Kelly in Toronto with Mr. O’Donnell. There seems to be a problem with his corporate credit card. I’m sure you can straighten it out though.’ She forced herself to put as much sweetness into her voice as possible. ‘What seems to be the. A cascade of quickly fading voices questioned 'What is that blurrrrrr' as I flew out of the office. Unheeded, I was in my car in a flash. Traffic was as light as it's ever been, yet was intolerable! Finally, in record time, I screeched to a halt in my driveway. Before the car door closed, my tie and jacket were off. Inside the front door, my shirt fluttered to the floor, my shoes ricocheted off two walls.There she was, sitting on our sofa uncomfortably clam, teacup in hand, curiously staring in. What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? DoughnutsWhy is air a lot like sex? Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any.What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.What’s the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 10 years and 45 lbsWhat’s the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 45 minutesWhy do men want to marry virgins? They can’t stand criticism.Why is it so hard for women to find men.
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